Congratulations for taking up the bold step. Getting married is a big achievement as well as a huge decision. A decision that some people make easily, while others have to come to terms with. If you are an individual who wants to be certain about what they do, then having premarital counseling is a great option for you. It not only provides you with an opportunity to talk about everything with your partner, but also provide you with an opportunity to have a third party impartial view.
Getting someone to guide, mediate, and inform you about the difficult information gives you a new perspective and work through any issue. However, some people do not feel comfortable with this type of arrangement, but others really want to feel secure and safe going through into their marriage. Thus, premarital counseling can be a game changer in their lives. If you are thinking of signing up, it is completely acceptable to feel nervous about the process and the type of questions that you will encounter. In this guide, we discuss what to expect from premarital counseling. Read on.
It can be religious or secular
Although premarital counseling is mostly associated with religion, you can also have secular religious counseling, run by therapists or psychiatrist. If you are going for religious counseling, expect more questions related to your religion. If it is secular, expect the discussion to be more objective. It focuses on your relationship and what life really entails, the questions are informed by what type of counselor or therapist you choose.
No topic is off limit
Can a man of faith as you about sex? Well, yes they will. When attending premarital counseling, there is no question which is off limit. The questions will range from your sex life to financial discussions, from your biggest fears to what your partner loves most. Hence, there are no boundaries. If you want the process to be beneficial to both of you, then this is a good thing.
Do you need to do homework?
Certainly. At one point, you might be required to engage in a private study thought. You might be required to carry out more research on your sex life and financial expectations. This is an opportune moment to take a reflective approach and think about your relationship and what matters to you, without having the pressure from your partner or counselor. Once done, you come back and discuss it through.
It is not all about the future
As many expect it to be, premarital involves talking about your future. However, it does not solely talk about this, the discussions also involve working through your past issues. Part of getting you ready is by helping you mend the past wounds. Hence, you will have an easy time moving forward.
A perfect therapist will tailor it to you
Maybe you have a kid from your past relationship or you are divorced, no couples look identical. A good premarital counselor will not just give you a cut and paste guide from a manual, they will tailor the sessions according to your needs. Thus, it is critical to be as truthful as possible. If you have a conflict resolution issue, you probably would want the therapist to focus more on that. Or if your partner finds it hard to get along with families, then that should be taken into account. The sessions should meet your personal needs, rather than being just about relationship.